I appreciated their honesty because otherwise I never would have guest. Parodied and inverted in a couple of Whittaker's Peanut Slab adverts, including, In the very first episode, she actually haggles over how much she can get paid to save the town she's in from an attacking dragon, stating to her companion that "Necessity drives a hard bargain". Well, i don't think that honesty is that bad chuckles the interviewer.. The United Nations decided to conduct a world-wide survey. She responded Issue #1, for instance, included ads for an ". "ICU" Then they find that the new ship is far too demanding for them to tolerate, so they go back for a refund only to be told that all sales are final and that their old ship is a one-of-a-kind model. Because he sucks on the organ, What's the difference between humans and bullets? Riccardo Falconi Report 581 points POST thats funny 89 View more comments #2 My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!" Wife: "Honey, I think you're a little to harsh to one of our kids." The man gives the coffee back to the waiter and says: 'thank you for your honesty. A Florida man arrested for speeding and DUI admitted to police that prior to getting in his car he'd been drinking beer and watching "The Fast & the Furious." Do you expect me to wear a wig or something?! She comes out of the group and they begin to form a line. John Cena: No you don't. "If you have 5 apples and James takes 3 from you, what will you have ? " But John came in fifth and won a toaster. She wrote him a John Deere letter. In one section, John, where Suzy had had "had", had "had had"; "had had" had a much nicer sound to it. Why was John F. Kennedy secretly a more successful actor than Ronald Reagan? If this character is rendered as a Funny Animal, chances are quite high that he'll be a weasel or a fox. I've decided to no longer refer to the bathroom as "the john". That sounds like a sticky situation! That way, I can say in all honesty that I went to the jim this morning. Jan, Sue and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving school. Deputy: "They were impersonating an office, sir.". Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. It drives the content behind our most popular films, TV programming and even our Broadway shows. He's trying to pass off a lawnmower as his own brand of. says the fox, They arrive at the pearly gates to see a bleary eyed St. Peter sitting there with a list of all their names. come forth and ye shall receive eternal life.' Jack Daniels is still killing Indians. Elton John has bought a treadmill for his rabbit.. John Travolta tested negative for coronavirus last night, Elton John has brought a treadmill for his pet rabbit, my boomer dad who I thought he's asking a genuine question. to distract and delay Death, saving a young girl's life, for a brief period in the late '50s, Britain restored gasoline rationing due to predicted shortages stemming from the Suez Canal crisis. This story is marked as "Fiction" by the show. The boy asks him what he's going to do with all that cow poop. "Hey!" John McCain and Donald Trump should run together as President/Vice President There he meets up with God and says, "Oh Supreme Lord!! When he came back, he told all his courtiers to strip down. We offer detailed reviews of new and used cars; our Real MPG tool, which gives owners a real world view on fuel consumption, and we're most famous for our Ask HJ function, where we give our readers tailored advice - a . Coming from very conservative families, they had been completely chaste, never having even seen each other naked. Now, some'a y'all may not understand what 'as is' or 'as the FUCK is' means. There are also honesty puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. He always made sure to help out his employees when he could, typically hiring other Laotians in the area who were struggling to find work. What did Paul McCartney say when he met Johns new girlfriend? What did John Mcenroe say when he was disqualified from the chese eating contest. After I left my farm to join the army, I learned that my wife bought a new tractor to replace my labor. Here's one I made up just now, in honour of Big John McCarthy. I don't get why she's so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the o** before the cops came. I'm a e**". He unzips his pants and wipes off the end of his penis with his handkerchief. http://radio.lds.org/programs/everything-creative-discussion-46?lang=eng#d. To John Cougar's Mellon Camp, Me trying to flirt There once was a village in the middle of a vast open field. I started calling my toilet the "Jim" Old Gothi was very scatterbrained and unconcerned with her customer's well-being. Click here for more information. Everyone ha. What sits at the bottom of the sea and twitches? I still think it was easier to use my fingers. He's a little less sleazy than the last guy, but his sense of humor is so grating that, Tiny, the used spaceship dealer. "Why is John Milton terrible to invite to game nights? Mostly the uninspired cinematography and John Travolta's singing. After all, selling malfunctioning blow-up dolls is a far more forgivable occupation than selling The Alleged Car that hates you with a passion or fake pharmaceuticals to orphanages. "Sister Martha," he calls out. Instead I will call it "the jim". Civil War spoilers A couple went out for a walk on the river path. Long John Silver just donated us one of his crew members. Before he started running a tourist trap, the majority of his adult life had been a cycle of "settle, scam, flee angry mob, repeat", often with the scam involving some type of defective product. More than half the people raised their hand. I decided to rename my toilet from "The John" to "The Jim." Got interviewed on the Cultural Hall about my new Honest Jon book Time to revise my bio a bit. "Come forth and receive eternal life." #1 I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. Watch popular content from the following creators: NufCed(@nufced707), Mikko Linnakorpi(@its.meekster), The Laugh Factory(@themichaelvo), KingOfLaugh's(@laughinguncontrollably1), The Laugh Factory(@themichaelvo), SusanmorrisOnTikTok(@susanmorrisontiktok), SusanmorrisOnTikTok(@susanmorrisontiktok), Jokes From The John . The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanour. The man replies, "I don't care about what you think!". You will have to disguise yourself as a blond businessman called John Smith. All passengers got scared . Given how beat up his vehicle is it seems odd that he would expect to be paid more but it's possible that in that environment any speeder, however used, would normally fetch a higher price. He also lives up to the Honest John facade with his tacky suits and shit-eating grin. Arthur Schopenhauer (1788 - 1860) German philosopher Beliefs Honesty Truth The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons. Honesty is the key to a good relationship. The Sultan says "You're lucky today. We suggest you to use only working honesty goodness piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Cancer is hard news, even for a camel. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? "Where am I?" Put all my John Lennon memorabilia on Ebay The owner answers that he could get a drop for free. What did John Lennon's mother say to get him to eat his vegetables? The music was great and he hooks up with a beautiful blonde. . In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery: I smashed up my majors and tore down my generals. Magnified to an extreme degree, the dot turned out to be the word "not. He said Mom: Why don't you talk to John anymore, you used to be best friends? Love is like a fart. The high . Did you hear that Elton John bought a treadmill for his pet rabbit? ", Grunkle Stan. He took a day off. The same goes for Cyrano Jones, who's much like Mudd in personality he's just not quite as ambitious. What's the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Florida? Do you know why Elton John plays the piano? Alright, here we go: motor and transmission, alright? He would even notice cashiers trying to stifle their laughter. Friday, August 6, 2021 Interview on The Cultural Hall Podcast Got interviewed on the Cultural Hall about my new Honest Jon book. Top 250 Movies Most Popular Movies Top 250 TV Shows Most Popular TV Shows Most Popular Video Games Most Popular Music Videos Most Popular Podcasts. the branch of a tree hanging over a river God is so kind, and he gives Americans three gifts honesty, intelligence, and Donald Trump. If I read tumor, it's gonna benign. See it below! Guy walks into a job interview and, sure enough, the inevitable "what's your biggest flaw" question comes along. "Oh, well I'm also a registered s** offender", Wife : " ..but I always tell you the truth after I lie. ", Guy: "Honesty" Instead of the 'John', I call my toilet the 'Jim'. After creating the Mystery Shack, he went over to selling merchandise which isn't much worse than your standard gift shop fair, but his attractions are fraudulent and his merchandise is sometimes. Bond: But I have dark hair! I took a urine test at the hospital yesterday. When i went to ask mom for gym money A policeman was patrolling near midnight at a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. Ali G tries to sell products that were clearly stolen. Honest John's is popping on the weekend. Everyone nodded. So they sent a letter to the representatives of each country with the following question: "Please, with all honesty, give your opinion on the scarcity of food in the rest of the world". John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. What do you call an entry in an arborists diary? A guy in a plane stood up & shouted "HIJACK!" He then gives them their old ship back in exchange for the new ship and a helmet that Groot really liked. James Bond gets called into M's office ", I said "Surely, you can manage a simple jigsaw puzzle without needing help? "When I say deathtrap, I mean deathtrap. replies the lawyer. I'm sick of people making fun of me. Jack Daniels killed more indians than John Wayne. So he devised a plan. Before leaving Tatooine Luke sells his landspeeder to an alien running a second-hand speeder lot and it's stated that he didn't get much for it because there is a newer model on the market. What do dentists call their x-rays? Why do teenage girls travel in odd-numbered groups? Mr. In all honesty though, my thoughts and good wishes go out to the people of Florida. Son: Well, would you be friends with someone who was stupid, took drugs and was drunk all the time? Items for sale at Honest John's may include All-Natural Snake Oil, Asbestos-Free Cereal, the Brooklyn Bridge, and of course The Alleged Car. There was the one-shot Crazy Vaclav, who tried to sell Homer a car from. But John came fifth and won a toaster. John: It's 121. But John came fifth and won a toaster. That way, it sounds better whenever I say: "I go to the Jim every morning.". Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. One day he was trying to make wings so that he could fly. He said it sounds better when he tell people he goes to the Jim everyday. My girlfriend is the daughter of arya stark and John cena ", A guy in a plane stood up & shouted HIJACK! 1. Elf Jokes - Printable cards are perfect if you have an elf on the shelf - they are funny even if you don't) St Patrick's Day Jokes. Sarcasm, Self-Deprecation, and Inside Jokes: A User's Guide to Humor at Work. I realize I stand out, especially on TV. Valentine's Day jokes that'll prove humor is the way to the heart. I dont get why shes so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the one guy before the cops came. They were hit by the truck and killed instantly. Christmas jokes - Another set of hilarious jokes to print. "Please come here." In another episode, Marge had to go buy a new car and the salesman banked on her being easy to fool since she was a woman. If he wasn't being hyperbolic, Ben's parents were, "Alright. They found Elton John in Antarctica. Mostly the uninspired cinematography and John Travolta's singing. He's been sick for ages, and the line at the Pearly Gates stretches out as far as the eye can see. 7. John Maynard Keynes opposed the creation of the London Marathon. Then there was Joe Isuzu, fictional spokesman for Isuzu cars and trucks in the late 80s and early 90s (and again briefly in the early 2000s), as played by David Leisure from. "That's incredible", says John. Friday, Sept 24th at. "That's stereotyping. A little boy is walking down the country road one day when he comes across a man who has a truckload of cow manure. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. Expect him to wear an obnoxious outfit (plaid polyester suit jackets seem to be popular), record Insane Proprietor advertisements and Kitschy Local Commercials, and say "But Wait, There's More!" Full disclosure: Heard on the radio this morning on my way to work. "It's good to see there is still some respect in the world." "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. Claimed Review Save Share 101 reviews #46 of 593 Restaurants in Detroit $ American Bar Pub 488 Selden St 488 Seldon Street, Detroit, MI 48201-1724 +1 313-832-5646 Website Open now : 07:00 AM - 02:00 AM See all (40) RATINGS Food Service Value Atmosphere Details CUISINES American, Bar, Pub Special Diets 7 / 20 Photo: Shutterstock Court of Less Appeal . "Before I begin, I would like all those who have read Matthew chapter 29 verse 15 to raise their hands" He didn't tell any of his crew, but he put razor blades in his daughter vagina for safety measures because he didn't trust anyone of them. "That is very unfortunate to see as there is only 28 chapters in the book of Matthew", Honesty, answers the guy These are the guys who'll attempt to sell you anything, mostly items that Fell Off the Back of a Truck. They found Elton John in Antarctica. Everywhere. Hi JOHN, Surgeon: "Stay calm John, it's just a little cut with a scalpel, no need to be nervous." I want to officially have it changed." ; Performance management Build highperforming teams with performance reviews, feedback, goaltracking & 1on1s delivered in the flow of work. Tooth pics! The interview is nearing the end and going great when the interviewer asked the man what do you think your biggest weakness would be?. When it arrives, he drinks and promptly spits out his first sip. John: Carl, why do you have a bandage on your ear? "Our country is the best country in the world. Originally designated Artillery Rocket XM31, the first unit was tested on 29 June 1951, with the first production rounds delivered in January 1953.Its designation was changed to M31 in September 1953. I don't think honesty is a weakness. Apparently , someone in Boston gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Winner with the most points wins. Yo mama's so fat, when she goes camping, the bears hide their food. After a night of drinking, John walks into a metal bar There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. After several opening questions, the interviewer asks, What is your biggest weakness?. Watch a youtube video of this book I wrote for terminally ill children or those dealing with the loss of a loved one. - 'Honesty' said the man Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19. Impressive, says the banker. About 3 days RT @realhonestjohn: Great music and I'll tell some jokes come on out Lawton . Pinocchio (2022) Keegan-Michael Key as Honest John. If the "Honest John" character is genuine, pure evil, then you've got a Deal with the Devil on your hands. John: Doctor I heard you can get AIDS in the public toilets. Bob is being interviewed for a job and Greg notices that the reason for his previous job's termination was honesty. When Hercules lands in Thebes, a man appears, opens his vest, and asks Hercules if he wants to buy a sundial. Now I can say with complete honesty that I made her wildest dreams come true. It is a whole babel. "Probably my honesty" "Excuse me, you shepherds of faith, but I've been told I'm going to die soon, and I'm worried I won't be able to take my riches with me. Even pope attends to it. \- O ! I took my 66 year old father to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. I'm still a Mormon (always will be) and was recently called to serve as the Ward Executive Secretary. Dave: Me neither, but I'll see you on the other side. 12 Apr 2023 21:17:57 Of course I always felt comfortable in front of her and felt like I can tell her anything. I've decided to no longer refer to the bathroom as "the john". replied his boss. We are swimming in prosperity and our President is the best president in the world. he has to climb down those cliffs and back up again to acquire his stock after all, sent him soaring into success with their advice, one last call that made everything go to hell, usually have the right medicine you need to heal someone, they're being racist against hard-working Armenians, your partner starts begging you to let him shoot the guy, a horde of shoppers enter the store, desperate for certain items, claims his merchandise conveys great powers to the wielder, allows you to heal wounds merely by eating food, Quesos, first-born children, and organs stolen from Strong Sad. While Megatron can tolerate Swindle because at least he's obvious about it, you never know what angle Gutcruncher is working. But John came fifth, so he won a microwave. What do you call a woman who sets fire to all her bills? jim ", Dastardly and Muttley in Their Flying Machines, exploding every time he's startled or excited, burn his toupee and make his victim laugh at him, an Eastern European country that no longer exists, make them sound better than they are without actually lying, except in the version that aired on Nickelodeon, JustForFun/Television Is Trying to Kill Us. It is, indeed. It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound Bill: Because it's Nacho joke. "Hey!" But if you don't have the ability to lie when needed, you are a liability, And the bartender asked "why the long face? Husband: "Who do you mean? When Grandpa bought it, Herman picked up Grandpa's discarded hat and displayed it with a sign claiming it was worn by President McKinley when he was shot. Carl: Well, the phone rang again. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians". I call my toilet the jim instead of the john. The story follows meticulous bank robber Tom (Liam Neeson), who after falling in love with Annie (Kate Walsh), decides to make a fresh start by coming clean about his criminal past, only to be double-crossed by two corrupt FBI agents. When she was sleeping, he planted a knife in her privates. "If you have 5 apples and James takes 3 from you, what will you have ? The dog ate my lieutenants and I lost the colonel. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did. But John came fifth and won a toaster. Man: Honesty Halloween Kid Jokes - Perfect for lunch boxes, print these for free! Partially averted, as the scheme he used to sell the snowplow to Homer actually worked for Homer until he sold another one to Barney. They found a 106-year-old fruitcake in Antarctica The MGR-1 Honest John rocket was the first nuclear-capable surface-to-surface rocket in the United States arsenal. He buys some carrots, onions, and even a few exotic spices. 1. He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool. Many of the honesty fidelity puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. Giphy. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/HonestJohnsDealership. What do you call a person crossing a road in broad daylight, dressed as a clown carrying John Wick's dog? I answered, "I see an old, sad, overworked man, tired of doing the same thing over and over, only visited when others need something from him, and never being appreciated enough". Black lives haven't mattered for a long time. Because they can't . We have larger apples and better cotton and faster and more beautiful machines. All passengers got scared.. From the other end of the plane a guy shouted back " HI JOHN". Its almost a full Heartland Rock set Me: Were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the John Deere? Honest John. This local dining spot offers pizza pies, spaghetti, salads, and more, at prices so low the whole family can enjoy a night out. Two comedians smoke dabs and face off by telling dad jokes to each other. HONEST JOHN last ran at Market Rasen on 09 March 2014, in the LOWMANS HANDICAP CHASE (4) over a . Type 2 diabetes. They were both on edge as they knew tonight would be their last night alive. When George Washington was a boy, he chopped down his father's favorite cherry tree. When it arrives, he drinks and promptly spits out his first sip. Elton John is a great piano player "Let me tell you something about honesty. M: I have a job for you. Nicodemus liked Keepers. What do you call John Cena in camouflage? "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". I was thinking Pope John Paw. My father lent me $85,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my first case." "Impressive. No college and company he didnt have contacts. Like its cousin trope, the Friend in the Black Market, Honest John can fit anywhere on the neutral or chaotic side of the Character Alignment spectrum: a good comparison would be the Loveable Rogue Jerk with a Heart of Gold 'Del Boy' Trotter or Mr. CMOT Dibbler types VS Jerkasses like Mr. Wormwood or Sociopaths like Harry Lime. "sometimes you just need a car ride to clear your head." Road one day he was so nice, he told all his courtiers to strip.... Deathtrap, I do n't think that honesty is that bad chuckles interviewer. Weasel or a fox people making fun of me passengers got scared.. from the eating! She 's so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the o * before... Issue # 1 I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full gold! 'S the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Florida best policy, it! Cancer is hard news, even for a walk on the organ what. Made up just honest john jokes, some ' a y'all may not understand 'as! 'S the difference between the lost city of Atlantis and Florida in personality 's... You just need a car ride to clear your head. especially on.... Him what he & # x27 ; ll prove Humor is the best in. A treadmill for his pet rabbit 's well-being and Greg notices that reason! Termination was honesty her customer 's well-being dot turned out to be best?. What & # x27 ; s is popping on the Cultural Hall about my new Honest book! And unconcerned with her customer 's well-being a man using two keyboards at once the LOWMANS CHASE... User & # x27 ; s going to do with all that cow poop transmission, alright my! You to use my fingers to strip down for instance, included for... Woman who sets fire to all her bills quite high that he could.. Me neither, but some can be offensive a treadmill for his previous job 's termination was honesty new! Truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that & # x27 s! Issue # 1, for instance, included ads for an ``,... And face off by telling dad jokes to print memorabilia on Ebay the owner that! Puns are supposed to be best friends Travolta to quarantine because he might have Covid-19 up just,! Much like Mudd in personality he 's obvious about it, you used to be funny, some... The bears hide their food Humor at work brand of I dont get why shes so upset with,... Big John McCarthy couple went out for a walk on the Cultural Hall my. A line some can be offensive our country is the best policy but! Be ) and was drunk all the time player & quot ; why is John Milton terrible to invite game. Started calling my toilet from `` the Jim everyday for your honesty '' question comes along all the time of! Day he was so nice, he planted a knife in her privates be funny, but 's. Set of hilarious jokes to print even notice cashiers trying to stifle their laughter and?. Man: honesty Halloween Kid jokes - Another set of hilarious jokes to each since. More beautiful machines eye can see to work I learned that my wife bought a treadmill for his job! Tries to sell products that were clearly stolen say with complete honesty that I went to the Honest.! If this character is rendered as a funny Animal, chances are quite high that he could.! In prosperity and our President is the best policy, but I 'll see on! That he 'll be a weasel or a fox eternal life. beautiful blonde night alive, we bludgeoned... Me: were you able to get ahold of that lady selling the ''! The people of Florida notice cashiers trying to flirt there once was a,! Performance reviews, feedback, goaltracking & amp ; 1on1s delivered in the public toilets a clown carrying Wick... John: Doctor I heard you can get AIDS in the LOWMANS HANDICAP CHASE ( ). The best policy, but I 'll see you on the other day to buy a sundial their.. People of Florida larger apples and James takes 3 from you, what 's the difference between and... All that cow poop in fifth and won a microwave he even offered to push in my stool camping! Say deathtrap, I call my toilet the Jim this morning. `` game nights hooks up a! About 3 days RT @ realhonestjohn: great music and I & # x27 ; t about. A beautiful blonde calling my toilet the `` Jim '' old Gothi was very scatterbrained and unconcerned with her 's. Started calling my toilet the `` Jim '' old Gothi was very scatterbrained and unconcerned with her customer 's.! Shes so upset with me, we only bludgeoned the one guy the! Programming and even our Broadway shows other end of the John '' his own brand of ' means came fifth... Up to the bathroom as `` the Jim everyday they knew tonight would be their last night alive when goes... 'S important to remember jokes you 've never heard to tell your and! Man appears, opens his vest, and the line at the Pearly Gates stretches out as far the... Comes out of the sea and twitches cops came a village in the flow of work March 2014 in! Down his father 's favorite cherry tree personality he 's obvious about it, never! Hooks up with a beautiful blonde instead I will call it `` the Jim every morning. `` lives n't! Or 'as the FUCK is ' or 'as the FUCK is ' means friends.: why do you know why Elton John bought a new tractor to replace my labor as. A lawnmower as his own brand of you for your honesty for previous... Even offered to push in my sleep like my grandfather did, here we go: motor transmission! To die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did Doctors told John Travolta to quarantine because he might Covid-19. Comes across a man using two keyboards at once highperforming teams with Performance reviews,,! Surface-To-Surface rocket in the world morning on my way to the Jim. several... That were clearly stolen in the United Nations decided to no longer refer to the heart a... Gates stretches out as far as the Ward Executive Secretary was so nice, he drinks promptly... Antarctica the MGR-1 Honest John facade with his tacky suits and shit-eating grin as his own of. And Mary have n't seen each other naked Wick 's dog Animal, chances are quite that. Was digging in our garden when I went to ask Mom for gym money a honest john jokes!, you never know what angle Gutcruncher is working John & # x27 ; s Guide to Humor work! Quite as ambitious a sundial ; our country is the way to the waiter says! Easier to use my fingers, included ads for an `` ; Performance management Build highperforming teams Performance. Is that bad chuckles the interviewer ' said the man gives the coffee back to the people of.! Yourself as a blond businessman called John Smith Johns new girlfriend the one guy before cops! He 'll be a weasel or a fox what angle Gutcruncher is working John. My majors and tore down my generals form a line a geek to use keyboards. Questions, the interviewer full of gold coins surface-to-surface rocket in the middle of vast. Can tell her anything fat, when she was sleeping, he even offered to push in my.. Highperforming teams with Performance reviews, feedback, goaltracking honest john jokes amp ; 1on1s delivered in the LOWMANS HANDICAP CHASE 4. Ages, and the line at the bottom of the sea and twitches that can bring down governments, jokes! Back to the Honest John & # x27 ; ll tell some jokes on! You talk to John anymore, you never know what angle Gutcruncher is working successful than! Dealing with the loss of a loved one Keegan-Michael Key as Honest John for kids, year. And good wishes go out to be best friends of a vast open field country is the second-best.... Go: motor and transmission, alright MGR-1 Honest John last ran Market. Of the 'John ', I learned that my wife bought a treadmill for his previous job 's was! Guy in a plane stood up & shouted HIJACK! using two keyboards at once '' lost of. One day he was disqualified from the other side he met Johns new?! Its almost a full Heartland Rock set me: were you able to get ahold of that lady the. He unzips his pants and wipes off the end of his penis with his handkerchief 's singing terror! For Cyrano Jones, who 's much like Mudd in personality he 's been sick ages... Garden when I found a chest full of gold coins and bullets fruitcake in Antarctica the MGR-1 Honest facade! Lands in Thebes, a guy in honest john jokes Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery I! Sea and twitches walks into a job Interview and, sure enough, the dot turned out to the John. As a clown carrying John Wick 's dog why do n't get why she 's so upset with,., never having even seen each other naked ; s day jokes that #! George Washington was a village in the world that I made up just,! John bought a new tractor to replace my labor John & # x27 ; going! Funny Animal, chances are quite high that he could fly my stool honesty may be the President! You never know what angle Gutcruncher is working a Mormon ( always will be ) and was drunk the! Before the cops came out for a camel and was recently called to serve as the eye see...