Just take your pick! Two young salmon are swimming along one day. At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go.". They let him in. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. "The other two continue to swim in silence for a little while, until the first one turns to the other and asks, "What the hell is water? You'll never get it! The farmer is impressed. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!, the officer said.I did, the man replied. "Your obsession is money. she said, feeling really good. ", A man stands in line at an ATM in Moscow. ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. My girlfriend tried to make me have sex on the hood of her Honda Civic. The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. My girlfriend asked me if I smoke after sex I said I haven't looked. The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, "Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee! Long Jokes A cowboy on a long journey stops at a small town to wet his throat he ties his horse up outside the saloon and enters. Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. The bartender opens his beer and sets it down on the table. Very Rich Clay, what is your second wish? The man shakes his head. And yes, while clever and smart jokes. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. The man, astounded, turns to the other person and asks, What was in that bottle? The other person replies, Its hare spray.. When asked the secret of her longevity, she attributed it to taking a walk at midnight every night. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. Seven Inches I was sitting on my own in a restaurant when I saw a beautiful woman at another table. John decides to rent a big hall and invite the entire group. So in the morning, he calls 911 to come pick up the body. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. "His astonished mother exclaimed, "Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. Keep the tip. News on The Christmas Prince 4 for 2023. Stunned, the woman said, "That was brilliant! After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "OK, You are 47." Soon they hear a knock at the door. "What did I tell you?" Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard. To break the ice, and to get the therapy started, John decides to ask a show of hands how often the attendees had sex. The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks the bartender A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. The librarian politely told him that he was in a library. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. "Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for? font-weight: 500; ""I'll have a glass of", says the bear. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the Kangaroo. Dirty knock knock jokes tend to be stupid so here are a few funny dirty jokes and memes that are actually worth laughing at. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!" A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. He picks it up and starts crying, thinking hes a horrible person. You spend so much time on the course. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. So they do this, and begin painting their room. He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. He then asks, how many had sex once a week? I said that it had to be the most intelligent cat ever. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change? Long story short: the spider is now dead, son's phone is smashed and son is distraught. "That kid never learns! "Let go of the branch", boomed the voice.There was a long pause, and the man shouted up again, "Is there anybody else up there? This time a larger number of hands were raised. When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied, "Mind Your Own Business!" Have you seen all jokes? Powered by At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. "    " + As we drink the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges. Looks authentic, doesn't it. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. He gets out of the car and walks over to the rabbit. What"s so special about it?" He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. You might find a really long joke with no punchline here, but these jokes are hilarious and could easily be your joke of the day. He picks it up and starts crying, thinking hes a horrible person. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." ", The historians had gathered for a party in Cairo after they had discovered a new mummy. ", A couple just got married and on the night of their honeymoon before passionate love, the wife tells the husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." The chihuahua walker complains . Adult dirty riddle jokes are some of the most beautifully produced, genuinely laugh-out-loud jokes. The wife responds, "Well, my first husband was a gynecologist and all he wanted to do was look at it. What are you doing, Mommy? You could probably get a good price for your clubs. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the Final and not use it?" Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing! After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. Is there anybody up there?" A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying, "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Seeing the historians alarmed, the mummy said that he just wanted to listen to some music. More jokes about: dirty A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. Two deer walk out of a gay bar. Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. Turned out that it was a ghost panda and it only ate bam-booooo! Wanna take the joke a little far? The best part about getting older is enjoying lascivious content we would have gotten in trouble for back in high school. A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. The bartender is extremely busy and looks tired. Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. But after a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate. ""How can you tell it's a scarecrow and not a person? St. Peter says "Alright Sister, now dip the tip of your pinky finger in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted." The man first apologized and then whispered to the librarian, "Can I please have some ham and cheese? The Bartender reply's "$5". And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Employee Maliciously Complies To Work Only His 8 1/2 Hours, Makes The Company Lose $85k Per Year, "He's A Douchebag": 50 People Share What Schoolmates-Turned-Celebrities Were Like Before Fame, Management Introduces Disciplinary Rules To Make Most Of Employees, Freaks Out When They Turn The Rules Against Them, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", 23 Y.O. 1. The guy still amazed then orders everything and after he is done eating his meal then says "Wow, this place is amazing, I really wish I could meet the owner of this place". A couple of hours into the flight she nervously announced, "Ladies and gentleman; we don't know how this happened, but we have over 400 people on board, but only 200 dinners. "Doctor: "Yeah well that's the exit. "I dont need to outrun the bear", the first guy says. The 40 best dirty jokes to die of laughter If there is something that we are missing here, it is shame, so here we go with our collection of jokes: 1. So, the airline had bungled, and the crew was in a fix. ", A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. 21. Girl: No. ""Yes, yes, I trust you! Second Lady: A condom. "Oh, god!" she exclaims. "The ex husband thought long and hard about his response, after a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out. "The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?There was a long pause and finally he said, "How 'bout if I drag him over to Oak Street and you pick him up there? A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. A man is driving down a highway, and he hits and kills a rabbit. A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning.The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died.She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be. Two children ordered their mother to stay in bed one Mother's Day morning. So, what should you expect from these story jokes, you might ask? ", the others ask. My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 40 years without parole!! //-->, As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. The mummy said, "Please don't play jazz because my trom-bones are in a very bad shape. Inside it is a genie who agrees to grant each friend one wish.I want to go home, says the first friend. "The vendor replies, "Change comes from within.". "The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" document.write( She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here! I sent her a bottle of the most expensive wine on the menu. You can change your preferences. !Man, that sentence was way too long. ", says the first crow.The second crows takes a long look, "That's a scarecrow. He first asks for a show of hands of all the people who had sex almost every night. The cowboy smiles, taps his watch and says, "Damn thing's an hour fast.". Do you want to hear a joke about my vagina? They belong to me.You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. I just came in because of the blood. My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing.I have to stay 100 feet away from her at all times. The second guy says, "What are you doing? As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmers hens. I went to this haunted house for exploration. "No", he says. "The farmer didn't answer. He wanted them to paint his porch. So, the wife and I were in town shopping And as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. Ever fooled around while camping? Also an owner of 0.0028 Bitcoin. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. The cowboy explains, "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically." As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. } else { His wife was standing nearby watching him. After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity! The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. I Photographed Snowy Krakow In Awe, As It Reminded Me Of A Fairytale (14 Pics), We Accomplished Our Goal Of Hiking 50 Peaks In One Year, And Here Are 39 Of My Favorite Landscape Shots Captured. A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children. Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. "God said yes.The guy said, "God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny? "Alright Sister, now just wash your hands in the Holy Water, and you may be admitted" and she does so. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. So, the wife and I were in town shopping And as we came out of a store, three girls aged between 18 and 20 walked by, wearing tiny cropped tops and short short skirts. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento"When asked why such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital. You're the father of quadruplets! You scared the living daylights out of me! Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. The farmer is not just impressed anymore,he is worried. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "The bartender thinks for a moment, then replies, "Y, the long face. What could it hurt." A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. I was once passing through a town in England when this lady stopped me because she needed help fixing her car that had broken down. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. upvote downvote report. He turned to the second mom. It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Well, a variety of dizzyingly charming topics, for starters! As Sandy put her hands in Jims pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! ", Two young salmon are swimming along one day. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. "I work for the Four Seasons hotel! "Do you know what I am doing?" The woman giggles and replies "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" Theyre immediately taken back to a room. Returning visitor? ", Once, a mosquito walked into a clinic. Its the World Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the pitch. The man asked the barber to give his son a haircut while he shopped for groceries nearby. My girlfriend and I are trying this whole "long distance relationship" thing. said Dad. ", Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. A modest number of hands were raised. What is that? He pulled him over again. I want you inside me. No cellphone", says the second crow. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself. ", Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. Wife: No, he said you could have a stroke at any time. Every now and then, you will encounter a person who will make you wait a good amount of time before they deliver the punch line. "Yeah, sorry. Yet, sometimes, the need arises for something longer, more along the lines of a funny story. A Husband and Wife at Custody court. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder.". After a long period of silence she finally speaks: "Tim, I've been thinking, now that we're married maybe it's time you quit golfing. We charge only for the potatoes., My daughter brought a friend from school and she said his great-great-great-great-grandfather was coming to pick him up later. During my check-up I asked the Doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and healthy life then? '; "I work for 7 Up! "I said, "I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense. Finally, the doctor comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.This must be a mistake, the man says. ", I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." he shouted.A majestic voice boomed through the gorge:"I will help you, my son, but first you must have faith in me. ", 400 passengers but only 200 meals were loaded onto a flight from Delhi to New York City. A redneck's father passed away in his sleep. } Mercury is in Uranus right now. The first guy drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The man decides to try it and dresses up in his best God costume. What Happened to Danielle and Nick from Love is Blind? ", A guy said to God, "God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second? The mother has a confused look on her face, Why do you say that sweetheart? He gets out of the car and walks over to the rabbit. It was near the forest so the local guide warned me that I might find some animals there. And this one will be too, because (1) I like talking, (2) I want to continue with the joke, and (3) I just don't plain care about what anyone here thinks but whatever it is very hilarious. He has actually become quite famous and when a TV crew interviewed about the reason behind this ability, the skeleton finally disclosed his secret: he could feel the bad vibes in his bones. Carl had a big swollen nose. Sex on TV can't hurt unless you fall off. ", One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. As he walked to the door she yelled, "I hope you die a long, slow, painful death. Dirty Jokes, Tasteless, Jokes, Ethnic Jokes. The owner welcomes him and shows him to the table. "If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up", said the sarcastic teacher. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. A farmer quickly purchased land in a low-lying depression and began raising donkeys there. When the food critic says no, the owner decides to taste the soup himself but he can't find the spoon. "What did I tell you?" He gives her a quick glance then causally looks at his watch for a moment. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, I Used AI To See What These 23 Popular Cartoon Characters Would Look Like In Real Life, 30 Y.O. } Your account is not active. When I offered it some food, I was taken aback because it suddenly started talking. Weebly.footer.setupContainer('cdn2.editmysite.com', '1673987310'); The boy takes the quarters and leaves. Killing me. ", @font-face { Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. Finally, he goes to the dance with the girl. During a recent password audit, it was found that a blonde was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento". To John's dismay, he responds, "Why are you so happy getting sex only once a year?". says the wife. St. Peter now turns to the second nun and says "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" 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Watch while I prove it to you.". The woman replies: "It was my husband's suggestion. The lunch was my idea. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? The boy shocked us by saying, "That man was not my father. Shouldn't we just get rid of another Hitler? Enjoy our team's carefully selected Long Jokes. Is it mine or the machines?". The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. She sent me a note: "I will not touch a drop of this wine unless you can assure me that you have seven inches in your pants." So I wrote back: "Give me the wine. In a moment I will let you all though the pearly gates, but before I may do that, I must ask each of you a single question. He approaches the bartender and says, "If there is a triangle with three sides labeled x, y, and z, and x and z are perpendicular to each other, which side is the hypotenuse? The farmer is impressed. After all, life is just one big dirty joke. Laugh yourself and share the funniest jokes with your friends! "You all have obsessions," he observed. The barber finished giving the haircut but there was no sign of the father. "Oh, Im so sorry to hear that. Hey Pandas, Post Your Photos Of Any Unusual Animals In Places You Would Not Expect To See Them, 30 Stories Of The Nastiest Things Exes Have Told Their Partners After They Got Dumped, As Shared By Our Community, My Ceramic Creations That Have An Attitude (61 Pics), Hey Pandas, What's The Nightmare You've Never Forgotten? To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. Get Started Again a few hands were raised. A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. Thinking this was a little strange, the businessman asked the handyman why he was wearing the parkas on such a hot day.The handyman showed him the instructions on the can of paint. Two crows were in a field when they noticed a figure that looked like a man in the distance. I love you." A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! "Look at it's hand. "Her next announcement came six hours later: "Ladies and gentlemen, if anyone wants to change their mind, we still have 180 dinners available. Is there anybody up there?" This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. How did you do that?" The Sister Responds "Well there was this one time that I kinda sorta touched one with the tip of my pinky finger" This may seem corny, but you make me really horny. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet. Sometimes, these jokes get boring and we tend to lose interest. He was not happy with his life, he was not happy with the job he was doing. ", A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.The art collector replied, Ive had an awful day; lets hear the good news first.The attorney said, Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. said the barber. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. What do you do if your wife starts smoking? "Help! asks the doctor? I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. More jokes about: dirty A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. It was only discovered after take off, when the flight attendants started going through their preparations for the meals. ", A Husband and Wife at Custody court. The discovered mummy, on display at the party hall, suddenly woke up. "I just need to outrun you. A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. Feeling insulted, the police officer still asked politely who he was looking for. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Now, the main question here is this - are you ready for our selection of only the best long jokes ever? To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. There is no rush!" 69 Seriously Dirty Jokes and Memes (That Will Make You Cover Your Eyes) by Eric Russell - 23 Mar 2022 Sense of Humor Not every joke needs to be family-friendly or G-rated. Have you seen all jokes? Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "dont stop". The mosquito said that he had a lot of problems. ", A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news., An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. ", Joe is on his last day at work as a mailman. John then asks how many had sex once or twice a month? Some of those jokes are dirty jokes (never appropriate but) always funny. After an hour he loses his patience and yells, "Putin is to blame for this I'm going to the Kremlin and I will get rid of him!". My cousin replied, "Absolutely not! Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it! It's a gateway tug. For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonald's. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name."Yeah teach?" he replies."If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise . No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking for his brother. Start writing! I too have a problem. Carl had a big swollen nose.Whoa, what happened, Carl?, Max asked.I sniffed a brose, Carl replied.What?, Max said. I Went On Vacation With My Friend And Her Family, They Kicked Me Out So I Got My Own Room And Stayed On. One day Max went to see Carl. The wiser fish greets the two as he passes, saying, "Morning, boys! Its $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.. The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. by Stephen on March 21, 2013. The judge looks sternly at the ex wife. There was no one around, so the woman said, "What the hell?" In fact I could still hear her sobbing as I wheeled her up the ramp into the next store. To get flowers for her, he had to stand in a line outside the florist for an hour. That is right. The handyman was wearing two heavy parkas on a hot summer day. Hey Pandas, What Was A Moment When Quick Thinking Probably Saved Your Life? A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. If the answer is positive, scroll down below to check them all out! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. The 911 operator told him that she would send someone out right away. One makes your whole day, but the other makes your hole weak. More Dirty Jokes Masturbation always leads to sex. Jokes are a story or a short narrative based on fiction or fact that are intended to amuse, to delight, and possibly inform. A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries. He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. The bartender then says "The same thing I'm doing to his business". Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. First Lady:Whats that? A bus full of Nuns falls of a cliff and they all die. "The seat is empty. The robber angrily replied back, "Do not change the subject, okay? "About 35,"he replied. The intrigued woman says, "A state-of-the-art watch? He was whispering in my ear. "No", he replies,"I just got this state-of the-art watch, and I was just testing it.." Ooops! What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? At 8 o'clock, he sees the nun and appears before her. "That one there, drink that one as well. The girl wanted to have some apple punch so the boy went to get it, but to his surprise, there was no punch line. St. Peter turns to the first Nun in the line and asks her "Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" "She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman? Theres no b in rose!Carl replied, There was in this one!. Funeral director, "Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem. A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. Mother's Day. After some successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy. A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. Be strong, honey. Funny Long Jokes. 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Lot of problems over by how stunningly awesome she is his beer and sets it down on the hood her... Nearly 300 people wanting to be in group therapy o & # x27 ; t hurt unless you off... Her, he said you long dirty jokes probably get a good long wait she finally went downstairs to investigate morning! And seek jokes tend to lose interest trom-bones are in a field when they noticed a figure looked. Wearing panties! that looked like a man in the distance be in group therapy the airline had bungled and. Password: `` he 's had the same thing I 'm doing to his Business '' hens. Send your password shortly successful advertising he is astounded to have nearly 300 people wanting to in... Fat-Free French fries found that a blonde was using the following password: `` MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento.. St. Peter now turns to the pharmacist that she must n't lie because God is watching, these jokes boring... 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