After I got 50/50 joint custody and married a woman with a child, my monthly expenses still didnt increase by $436 a month even though I added 2.5 people to my household. The breadwinner's wishes for child custody. I highly disagree with 50/50 custody. In the event of a divorce the true best interests of the child can never be realized anymore. See the kids want 5050 I want 5050 and now my kids cant see me but 48 hours every other week and 3 hours on Wed if I can take off work. Deadbeat dads a myth? This problem can be easily solved with the help of an attorney. To be honest, she could have whatever she wants. The case involved a South Carolina court order requiring Michael D. Turner to pay over $200 per month in child support. I have been paying child support for 18 years, i received papers showing case closed and even got a refund check back for overpaying, this is North carolina that i am talking about, so 2 weeks ago i got a letter stating that my child support was reopened and now i am 2 months in arrears and now put in for garnishment. I could literally go on all day. Spoken like someone who expects someone else to foot the bill. Ive had CSS employees tell me that its a horrible situation, and they feel badbut give me little advice. It doesnt take a genius to figure out that this is a big scam. When you lose your job or get demoted you put in for modification and that modification is granted based on what you currently make. Dont they need support as well. The last attempt at modifying the order she reported almost $17,000 in ONE of her savings while i sit bankrupt. The arrearage was from a few years period back in the early 2000s that I was unemployed, as I was laid off from my aviation job after the 9/11 attack, when the airline industry went into a slump. I work full time and receive a $250-300 check every 2 weeks. But, the outcome does depend on the circumstances, such as: Their income. Thats all we are; a figure to be bought and sold. Been through almost 4 years ago from assistive living in Vermont. Paying over 500 month, while Shes living rent, mortgage free because her mom paid for it along with a brand new vehicle. Push for changeSo how do Dads organize to make this a possible topic of political elections? As a women I feel that we have lost touch as what it means to be truly independent and not rely on people who will let you down. she had a team of free state supported lawyers counclers I had what i could afford . Calling them, i was told although a payment plan was included in monthly payments, they will do whatever they want to get it sooner. The best answer so far madam, I like it, both should share responsibility, its ethical and moral responsibility if Courts and Law enforcement who are feminists by nature involve it becomes mess than anything else. I totally agree! I just think a lot of these stories are twisted and about anger and bitterness over the dissolved relationship, kids are suffering & going without because of this. Too many single mothers, feminist organizations, law firms, and state funding to be made. you do to the other side of the equation, it remains equal. My kids have no future now thanks to the childrens right tp choose to cause all kinds of drama and litigation when they should be focusing on school and being kids. Support Enforcement but no Parenting Time EnforcementIf I miss Child Support, she can contact a division of the court that immediately takes action to enforce. I get disability benefits and $700 does not do it a month. I have always provided for my son always will. The law should be added to so that those women don't have several babies and then wait for the child support to come in. My daughters mother put she was only making 8.50 an hour working 28/hrs a week when she filed for child support. child related expenses should be equally divided and same with medical and dental care. I got my kids back after about a month. As long as he is involved in there lives thats all that matters. Step Parents are still parents too and if they are providing for the child, they should be accounted for. Went from a 26.00 an hour job to a 10.00 job and no adjustment or assistance. Child support is about the child not a flawed or failed relationship. Why is the non-custodial parent responsible for paying child support any more than the custodial parent? Sounds like they both made a mistake equally and theyre both paying for it equally. But in about half the states the guidelines do not adjust child support amounts for time with the children. that for the last two years my college fund contributions for my child had been underpaid (because I was not receiving an accounting of the fund from my ex, and I refused to contribute further until she could prove that she was not spending my childs college money). I feel for the mothers out there that get only 100.00 a month. The family would adjust for that period. Men have complete control. Which she occasionally changes without telling me. And on top of all this what about his biological needs, he needs a relationship too. The family court judge then denied my parenting time credit and credit for the health insurance that I provide for my children because my ex-wife is voluntarily unemployed, and is using the child support to support herself and her paramour. In my situation, we had an agreement for over 6 years for a set amount. Ive been through so many obstacles in my life, but Im still here and with my head up high. Thats why its not going to change because nobody does anything about it because it afends people who think your ex deserves half of your check because the government uses you as a scape goat so they dont have to pay for anything so they make you pay a ridiculous amount so that ex is satisfied and wont ask for anymore hand outs. Im blessed that he is the father of my children. It is outrageous so even suggest that you shouldnt have to pay for supporting your child because your ex works hard. etc. As a defunct website named AnswerIsland explained it, both ordering sole custody with the lower earning parent and restricting the non-custodial parents access to their children increases the amount of child support collected, which increases the incentive payments (kickbacks) that the state receives for collecting child support. If the support order is for $1000/month that equals $100 for the state. Not all of us men are the same. Its going over the top to accommodate non- custodial parents for no other reason than they are biologically linked to a child. In addition to our bedrock issues of men's equal rights, fathers rights and men's reproductive rights, The National Center For Men has consistently addressed dozens of other important gender issues . It not my choice to have every visitation center say sorry your an abuser we will not supervise Ive signed a release for my son to obtain a passport so that he may go on a cruise with his mom and her boyfriend because it was the right thing to do yet I am restricted from leaving the country or having a passport because..? Surely there some men out there that are capable of being the monetary and human being support system for said child. No tax breaks for the dads. EXPECTING women to be feminists is the problem. Then I got supervisor rights. Just reading ur rant against 50/50 custody for anyone states why urs would never work because of you yourself. Have you ever seen how much it costs just for daycare? System should be changed where if a parent wants child support then the jobless parent MUST have a full time job. It sounds like the father could jump through hoops backwards to be there for the children and that still wouldnt be good enough for you. Being that Ive paid half of my check for 19 years, and still cant meet the minimum paymentall of my debt is all accrued interest. You should consider how the father daughter relationship was during those two first years. Advertiser Disclosure. The Judge asks my council to hold a telecon with my exs council in the Judges chambers. This isnt an episode of Trnasformers, where the hot dad, looking like Mark Wahlberg is raising his daughter alone, or on some other isolated tale there the mom is the bad guy. I mean come on America wake up we are living in the most underhanded corrupt developed nation in the world!!! We live in a society where everyone is presumed equal until proven they arent. An agreement between the parents: If both parents agree, child support payments can be waived or stopped. Your assumption is that people have children under ideal circumstances where the parents have good paying jobs, a big house with a nice picket fence, and two cars in the driveway and $1,000.00 is chump change. I have no problem paying but it seems Im stuck paying for all of it and her getting a free ride. How much you pay basically depends on how many nights per fortnight the children spend with you. My ex does not do this, and in the process I find out many things he is interested in. Child support guidelines are ridiculous. I have since raised all of the children, with the Lord and the crumbs he provided for child support. Im not the type of women that says if you dont pay Im not letting you see the kids. Seems your horse is a little to high for you to notice the reality of the situations that regular people face. Lets do something people !!! I dont tbink I am the only father who has felt this and I dont know how anyone can get through the feeling of the child not wanting to spend time with them. What people dont understand is i didnt just divorce my ex i divorced my kids. it was signed finalized. Finally, since the state is financially motivated to issue child support orders, that creates a conflict of interest. We gave him and my daughter their own land and mobil home. Jobs are not a guarantee and neither is what you earn. Child support cases really arent handled on a case by case basis but some stupid formula that revolves around money. There was a point where I think he stopped bathing. This means that achieving true shared parentingand dividing the parents economic resources so that they are available to the children in both homesrequires going to court and asking a court to deviate from guidelinessomething that studies have shown courts do not do as frequently as they should. Whete is the one that hey no suppory bit see the other drvelopment better. The current system does help in some instances but in this one i believe it created greed. or you could be like my ex and skip the state leave no contact info and still want paid. It is a two-way street, 100%. Lawyers? So you resent him for getting you pregnant, then you resent him for having freedom.the freedom to be robbed of fatherhood. My wife began seeing someone else and blamed it on me being distant. WTF?!?! He completely has controlled our lives and finances for the last four years. HOWEVER, the majority of men do not want the day to day care of children, but will agree to the 50/50 arrangement in order to avoid child support. If the court told me that I could take the kid/s and make my wife pay me I could not even consider that a possibility. I am a woman who flat out refused to take child support when the judge tried to award it in Oklahoma. While it is important for them to receive adequate financial support, it is arguably even more essential to have quality time with both Mom and Dad. Some even find themselves incarcerated over unpaid payments. She was 34, and I was 16. Darren. [1] Typically, it is paid to the parent with whom the children spend the majority of their time. My son has no new clothes, looks a mess etc while she stacks the money i send with no rent, no bills etc.. What she does with the money I send is her discretion, but I have a right to be disgruntled at the fact I sit bankrupt and penalized for doing the RIGHT things since the day she broke up our home and took our son states away from his dad. I still dont. Can anyone help, or are we just victims of a system that cares only about generating revenue by victimizing innocent people. With very few exceptions, no one has the right to tell a person how to raise his/her children.. Thats the responsibility of the parentseven when the parents dont see eye to eye, theres parental growth in the experience. If a pregnancy occur from the equal decision is when equality breaks down for the man. I said he was a great dad and does everything he needed to. SInce I was resposible and had a job I STILL was ordered to pay child support just because I had a job and she did not. The one whom owes Child Support pays Child Support with After-Tax Money. I do not receive support or my daughter. The mortality rate is three times as much sorry even womens mortality rate on the job is no better. Lets discuss reason why single people dont have to pay back welfare. A federal law gives States matching dollars for all the money that goes through the States Child Support office. They will remember. My advise is dont get married, have kids or be with anyone whos a gold digger. So now my fiance hasnt seen them in about 2 years, doesnt want the next lie to place him in jail and she makes about 50,000 a year while her husband makes 40,000, and my fiance makes about 30,000 a year. Plus, check out their power-packed Legal Tips page for all parents fighting family court, too Wow!! But the judge wont do anything either because the laws are so concrete or the judge is a jerk. Then she brought in a hand written note that anyone could of wrote. It should be equal on both parties and the same across the board no matter the income. My son is with me 3 months a year. America wake up we are living in the event of a system that cares only about generating revenue by innocent. Is a little to high for you to notice the reality of the children last! Have whatever she wants my wife began seeing someone else to foot bill. The man big scam that modification is granted based on what you currently make being support system said. 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